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Monday, 03 March 2008

hey y'all.

Tuesday, 13 December 2005

Now....usually I don't do this...but ol' girl is here in the SCC this morning at 5:45 and she is singing and doing runs like she's Whitney Hutton...yah, I said Hutton. And these folks in here are ready to jump her. I mean, granted, she IS singing Christian songs...but folks trying to study for finals...I mean...girl, yes, we know you can sing...we know...but baby, yo books over here just as open as 7/11 and you know you gotta be in them books...Now she's over there prophesying...I like it...but I mean, folks is ready to get her...she keeps saying, "Girl, BUT God...." and they're waving their hands....we bout to take up collection for her...Ushers please guard the doors, and don't let nobody leave. Sis. Hutton got another song.

DK

Saturday, 10 December 2005

So...finals are upon us again are they? Ha

Today was a good day. went to the probate of that OH SO DIVINE OMICRON LINE OF

ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA SORORITY, INCORPORATED!

I had dinner with my buddy today. I thank God for him. It's a crazy busy world. Friends don't have time for each other because everyone is too busy. That's life, you say? I believe that is pure neglect. I'm guilty of it, you're guilty of, heck let's have a guilt fest. Who's first to admit?

Quite possibly one of the hardest semesters for me mentally. I've said hello to problems, messed up and said goodbye to those same problems...eventhough sometimes I see them stroll by me from time to time, and they can keep on strolling.

I don't really consider myself strong, just careful. or atleast I'm a neophyte at this whole careful thing.

When you want to make friends, you know, develop good SOLID relationships full of purpose and intention, what do you do? Do you join a social organization, are they in the church, do you live with a bunch of guys in hopes that you'll all be buddies, remember, this is 2005 and EVERYONE pulls out their "I'm busy, leave me the heck alone" card. (You got one of those?)

My two bestfriends live (will live) on different sides me this coming semester. Sierra will be back in New Orleans and Michael goes to school in Oklahoma. I find comfort in calling them my best friends because they know me...KNOW me and still choose to love me. That's real.

But, what about when I come back to school? What's here? How does a young man wanting to grow stronger in Christ seek other stronger men for companionship? Do we always have to put up our "DO NOT DISTURB" sign when someone asks for a little of our time? I was that guy, always saying, "You know, I don't have the time". Well, some would say, "What goes around comes around." Well, me and Karma don't really get along because she doesn't exist in my world, or, this world I live in.

But seriously, not to vent...just to breathe a little bit...Where is it? Where are those meaningful relationships? You know? Those friends who say, "Ay, I got your back man...What can I do for you?" Oh, yah, they're in different states.

No doubt...there are amazing people in College Station who would pick a brutha up if I was laying on the corner bleeding...or if I need cake...or things of that sort...but where are the real meaningful relationships where we focus on the souls of others?

A callous is not only something that grows over rough hands...it can grow over your heart...atleast mine anyway.

The most awesome thing to hear is when someone says to you, "Man, I don't care...bother me...call me...whatever it takes...I just need to know you're good." ---> don't mean crap if they're not picking up the phone, or they're treating you like a Jehovah's Witness bothering them on their Good Friday off of work.

If one thing my brothers taught me this semester, it's to be intentional. Granted, you can't stop every Tom, Dick, and Shanequa you see in passing and ask about their day, but when you ask about someone's day....have intention on knowing what's been going on. (good or bad)

You know, I missed out on some good fellowship this semester and it caused me to lean toward things that only proved to hurt me. Fellowship is not something that you can share with anyone but, only those connected to the Body...that's fellowship. However you choose to drink it or smoke it, I believe simply that.

BELIEVE....hmph...you let your guard down and neglect your heart, you'll start to believe just about anything. And, in this world "Fame, Fornication, and Faggotry" (thanks V.P.) I don't know if it's possible to truly BELIEVE when you're leaning on what other people believe only because it's deep, electic, and a little bit more "NEO SOUL" than what Christians believe.

You want edge? You need some excitement in your life? You want danger? Become a Christian. LOL I can guarantee some of those if not all of those will happen for you, or your money back. (Just don't go tithing, then ask the church for your money back...that could cause problems...and you don't want no problems...problems...)

I rant and rave...but seriously...who reads this stuff...everyone is too busy.
FINALS...and...FINALS

DK

Sunday, 04 December 2005

So, today was the Choral Activities Christmas Concert. There is so much to say. I feel so sad right now. When I was there, on that stage with other members who love music and love to make music, I felt safe, like I was home, and they're so lovely. They're all so lovely...from the highest soprano to the lowest bass to the lowdest alto to the most unsure of tenors, they're all lovely. Texas A&M Century Singers are my family. My eyes welled up as we began a piece from Handel's Messiah. I had a solo (2 solos actually) tonight...and when fellow Century Singers would compliment me, they don't realize that they're complimenting themselves...that they deserve the standing ovation for being such wonderful people and loving me and blessing me with their friendships. Ok, so maybe I'm a little bummed out because everyone's parents came into town and they're taking their children out to dinner and things like that...I'm really lonely and tired...and I have on a tuxedo...I feel like crap, but something amazing did pop into my head when I was walking to the SCC. I was thinking about how lonely I was because no one was there to hang out with me after the concert and then...something chimed into my head. "Dustin, I'm here. I listened to you sing praises unto Me. I love you and I will not leave you. Just continue to love Me back. Love Me back." Thank You Jesus. So, my Daddy was there....with the best seat in the house. Purpose=Praise=Point. (inquire within)

Salado was fun. I really had a good time chilling with the Century Singers. I realize that choral music is something I want to do for the rest of my life, and I will not let anyone, ANYTHING get in the way of things that are important. Yeah, I'm kinda going through...but that's just it....I'm going through....THROUGH!

maybe if I would've loved myself a little more,
maybe I wouldn't have fallen for the bait and through my faith out the door.
maybe he was there for a reason,
maybe she's the reason, but it's not our season.
maybe there's something else worth waiting for.

maybe I talk to much about what I don't know.
maybe I know too much and don't say a word.
maybe I whisper so people cannot see my soul,
maybe...but the Lord has heard every, single word.

maybe I'll die in June with a lovely service,
maybe there'll be bubbles instead of flowers.
maybe instead of wheeping, the congregation will rejoice,
maybe they'll laugh and talk and reminisce hour after hour after hour.

maybe there'll be peace in this life, as I strive to reach my Lord.
maybe there'll be time to rest and take a breather.
maybe there'll be turmoil and anguist till I take my last breath.
maybe....but I'll run hard, HE didn't quit...and I ain't quittin' either.

maybe.

Monday, 28 November 2005

when I breathe...and I see you...I'm so lost because I wanna see you...but then I don't.
I wanna be with you. I wanna be you. Can you imagine, me, you? But you won't.
You kinda get me, and that's what gets me, the way you let me be myself.
I'm wide open...Dang, I'm wide open. But still I'm standing all by myself.

when I breathe...I hurt you. 'Cause I don't think.
when I walk, the grown shakes, you always keep your distance, lest you sink.
when we talk, I'm short, but secretly I need to hear my voice say words you want to hear.
when we talk, WE never talk, I implant the words in your ear.

when you love...you love to a degree I will never know, because "not too close" is as far as I allow my heart to go.
when you loves...you know it's real because no other woman or man here on earth can ever make me feel.

my heart is so heavy because so much has happened since we last were us.
maybe we could lay back kick our feet up and make a toast to us.
who determines our destiny? who is it that we trust?
would you be willing to move quick or sit back and wait for us?
What about us?

I can't figure out why my heart works this way.
my heart is so fickle, how it works this way.
I really wanna know how to love your way.
because you never seemed to count me out although we both went our own ways.

you be night and I'll be day.
just as long as our brightest gifts shine from the sky, we'll be.
We'll be.

Dang, my thoughts are premature, but they come back.
we must be in love, because they come back.
am I lonely, should I stay back? stay back?
I do know you look good by my side Black.

by chance, if i was yours and you were mine,
could we be us?
because "him" and "her"....separately...
just ain't what I want us to be.

There...I said it...I want us to be.
but the deal is not entirely up to me...or thee...

but He.

do we take a chance and risk it all,
and become prized trophies upon each others wall,
and then burn a bridge, again, and fall? tough call.

all I know is that lately...I've been breathing and you've been in the air.